When Comparison is NOT the Thief of Joy

I just booked a trip to Europe with my kids this summer, and I’m just thrilled to pieces about it. We’ve never done anything like this before and it’s been on my “mom bucket list” for several years.

But! I know many people who have already made a trip like this, and my brain likes to tell me I’m “behind” when I compare myself to that.

Comparison options:

⬆️ Comparing “up” is comparing myself to a family who takes their kids on trips all around the world, all the time. (I’m looking at you, sorority sister who home schools in Hawaii and takes her kids to Japan when they are studying Asian culture.)

The joy I felt about my own trip is gone when I think, “I wish I was doing that instead. I should be giving my kids more.”

⬇️ Comparing down is where you would tell yourself, "Well, I'm not so bad, I'm doing a lot more travel than some people."

This type of thinking is supposed to make us feel "better" than someone, but it doesn't work. You're making yourself feel better by putting someone else down (in your mind) and that just won't create good feelings. This type of comparison would also steal the joy of my newly booked trip.

➡️⬅️ Comparing to “self” is comparing me to earlier me.

The joy I feel about my trip is back when I think, “Earlier me really wanted to give my kids this experience, and I’m doing it! Yay me!”

There will always be someone richer, and someone poorer. There will also be someone more fit than you, and someone in worse shape. The list goes on and on.

Instead of comparing up or down, focus instead on improving YOU and then looking back at how far you’ve come. Good job!

PS If you've ever been a runner, you've probably heard the advice to 'run your own race' - to focus on your own plan and goals and not let the person in the next lane influence you. Life is the same way. As the guy in that song about wearing sunscreen says, "The race is long. And in the end, it's only with yourself."